


another newsies group chat au

by comradefitzroymaplecourt



Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Group chat, M/M, Modern AU, all of these are almost word for word things that happened in my friends gc, bullshit, group chat au, what the fuck is this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23489812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comradefitzroymaplecourt/pseuds/comradefitzroymaplecourt
Summary: i took funny moments from my friends gc, changed bits, and made a fic. enjoy
Relationships: Jack Kelly/Davey Jacobs, Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	1. chapter 1

group chat - this is a gays only event go home

1am  
kath: what part of my brain always wants to start my stories with a swear word  
albert: the iconic legendary part

3am  
race: we eating yogurt off a pancake bitches  
jack: race what the fuck  
albert: kinky  
spot: dumb of ass  
race: i thought we already established that

3pm  
kath: theres a font thats just called "the trans"  
kath: trans rights  
race: trans rights  
jack: trans rights  
crutchie: trans rights

5am  
albert: mothman  
albert: dab  
race: ah yes, a man of culture.  
davey: why are you AWAKE

4pm  
race: i just did zumba with my older brothers highschool history teacher what the fuck  
race: it was fun tho  
kath: can i just say you are a national treasure  
race: thank you those movies are disgustingly fantastic and so am i

6am  
albert: ITS APRIL FOOLS DAY YOU SAD MOTHERFUCKERS  
jack: no wonder im a joke  
race: jesus fuck jack

5pm  
davey: just realized i forgot to eat lunch :/  
jack: babe its fucking 5pm eat FOOD

9pm  
davey: math is a social construct  
crutchie: dont be so sin-ical  
davey: sin is pronounced sine you fucking toothbrush  
crutchie: :(  
albert: oh fuck you made crutchie sad ur fucked  
jack: WHAT THE FUCK DID U SAY-  
jack: I SWEAR TO GOD DAVEY

4am  
davey: what if i rewrote lord of the flies as a shitty choose your own adventure novel  
albert: do it  
race: do it coward  
kath: ill help


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if you're wondering how i think of this bullshit  
> I don't  
> this comes directly from me and my friends gc

5pm  
race: so guys i’ve recently found out that if you eat a huge fuck tons grapes for your first technical meal of the day at 4:40, then you’ll feel sick!!  
spot: jesus fucking christ  
albert: whaaat  
albert: no fucking way who would have imagine that  
race: nobody could’ve ever predicted this  
jack: call the fbi boys, he’s figured it out  
crutchie: pull him out the simulation he passed the test

6am  
race: i had a dream where hozier said he didn’t like my hair :/  
kath: mood

8am  
jack: its purge day gucci gang lets go beat up the rich and the homophobes  
race: EAT THE RICH  
spot: BE A BLOODIER ROBIN HOOD  
race: COMMIT TAX FRAUD  
albert: BETTER YET COMMIT TAX EVASION  
jack: TAX EVASION!!

2am  
crutchie: [photo of an extremely fat cat]  
albert: he CHONKY  
race: this is the peak of evolution, if you don’t like it, stop commenting on my grunge tumblr blog. Only true rick believers will get how truly EVOLVED this lifeform is.  
albert: this is what peak male physique looks like. @race ur boyfriend could never  
spot: @ me urself coward  
jack: peak chad  
albert: that boomer build  
race: this is both peak male and female physique. The booty. The chad bod. Humanity has truly extended itself in the search for perfection and that search has shown itself to be the one true achievement of humanity.  
jack: this isn’t a mortal being but an eternal being  
jack: sent by the elder gods to watch over us all  
albert: the eternal being to watch over us  
albert: the eternal overseer  
race: he IS the elder god  
crutchie: he’s the avatar  
race: he created all life based on his perfect physique  
albert: james gunn would be proud  
race: he is haunted by the perfection he creates  
race: only to peer  
race: at the small fish  
albert: he looks on into the abyss  
race: hoping for some saviour  
jack: poetry  
jack: rupi kaur who  
albert: nonce cat  
race: nonce cat 2: electric boogaloo  
albert: nonce cat 3: day of reckoning  
jack: nonce cat 4: lock the door  
crutchie: nonce cat 5: infinity nonce  
race: nonce cat 6: pick up sticks  
race: nonce cat 7: seven  
albert: nonce cat, gritty reboot  
jack: nonce cat X  
race: nonce cat commits tax fraud  
albert: nonce cat says eat the rich  
crutchie: nonce cat says trans rights

10am  
spot: im not even going to read all that what the fuck  
davey: why am i friends with any of you  
jack: cuz you looooveeee me  
davey: unforturnately  
jack: rude  
albert: get a room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the nonce cat bit,, im sorry i don't even know
> 
> i wish yall could see the photo I just don't know how to add photos


End file.
